Oyako Don't

Marriage is hard. I'm not talking about the horrible stuff, like hurtful lies, affairs, etc. Just the daily stuff can be hard.

Like what to make for dinner. Who should get to eat what they like? That sounds weird huh. For instance, I made oyako don some nights before. Crispy fried chicken fillets on top of a bed of scrambled eggs and onions, with the yummy dashi flavors seeping through the rice underneath.

Does that not sound amazing?? Does that not sound appetizing?!

According to the hubz, not so much. He thought the chicken was really nice, but he didn't like the rice because it was all soggy. In the end, he ate all the fried chicken, and cautiously asked me if it was OK not to finish the egg and rice. I took a deep breath and stared into my steaming bowl of eggy rice. So fragrant, so yummy... how could he?!

I had two choices. I could react badly to his honest feedback and blow up, make snide remarks about how I should've just ordered pizza instead of slaving away in the kitchen trying to whip up a restaurant-worthy meal for my family. And I really did, with a small touch of expectant hope that Andrea will be blown away by the food.

Or I could take this moment to finally realize something really crucial in our relationship - the man does not like tainted rice. Simple as that. My mind flashed back to all the times we ate together, and suddenly it was all too clear. How did I not pick that up after so many years with him? He always eats his rice separate from the other dishes. Sure, he will take some gravy to accompany the rice, but he always stopped me when I tried to scoop in more sauce onto his bowl of rice. And he never ordered oyako don. It was always bento sets when we visit Japanese restaurants. Clean, segregated dishes.

Even though I felt like playing the victim, I brushed it off and said it was fine, because really, if he is guilty for not appreciating the wife's efforts, I am just as guilty for not being attentive to his preferences. I used to be better at that, before the kids.

Time for some self-reflection.