My Best Friend

"This is Cindy, my best friend."

It was so casually spoken, like stating a well-known fact. Even though I know we have always regarded each other as best friends, I was surprised at how openly she said it in front of others.

She is one of my oldest friends, and definitely one I always consider as a Bestie even though we don't get to hang out as much anymore.

Come to think of it, I don't think we have stayed in the same town since we finished secondary school together. Somehow the friendship continued. We have college friends, colleagues, church friends... but it never diminished our importance to each other.

Until I botched her bachelorette party, I always felt like I have done irreparable damage to our Bestie relationship after that. It always fills me with helpless guilt when I remember how I did not give her the best bachelorette that she so deserves. How maybe I should have opted out if I was too bogged down by blocked ducts and new mommy duties. I thought I could do both best girlfriend and competent first-time mommy at the same time, but I couldn't have been more wrong.

Nevertheless, Su, being the gracious person that she always is, seemed to have moved on from it so completely that sometimes I wonder if it had all been inside my head. I have thought about texting her or talking to her about it, to clear things up, but it just felt too little too late.

Maybe she just introduced me that way out of habit. We did always call each other that since we were twelve years old. She probably did not even think twice about it.

But it meant the world to me. She will always be my best friend. And I hope we can always regard each other this way, like how little kids talk about their best friends, so happily and proudly.

Gosh I sound crazy.