The room was dark, illuminated only by the subtle blue light from the purring air purifier. The day is winding down to an end...
Not for Hannah. After nursing for almost an hour (with her eyes closed), she jerked her head away from my boob and stared at me. I quickly averted my eyes and turned away from her. Please sleep please sleep please sleep, I chanted inside my head.
"AaaaHHhhhh..." Hannah's baby voice pierced through the sleepy silence. "AaaahhHHhhh..." She was not shouting or shrieking; it was like she just wanted to her own voice in the loudest volume possible AND find out how long she can hold her breath. Maybe if I ignore her, she will drift off to sleep, I hoped. So I scooted away from her and covered my ears with my pillow.
"AHHHHHhHHHHHHhh..." I could feel her chubby feet shuffling and banging on the mattress.
To the uninitiated, it might sound non-threatening, but I knew better - leave this unattended for too long and she will burst into tears.
I tried to pat her, sing to her, cuddle with her. She flailed her arms and feet, restless, like she knew she was having trouble falling asleep. "AaaaaaHHhhhhh...." It was getting louder, angrier.
I turned over to check if the hubs and Jayden were disturbed by the loudness. Nope. Both were sleeping soundly.
I snapped. Why am I the only one left awake to suffer this?! So I did what every mature, self-sacrificing, wise mother would do - I carried Hannah to the hubs' single mattress and plopped her right next to the sleeping <s>baboon</s> man.
It was a small bed, so she was pretty squashed between her father's back and a bolster to shield her from the wall. She started kicking her father's back. I felt a surge of sadistic pleasure. Now maybe you will understand how it feels to have a restless baby right next to you, I thought maliciously.
He did not budge. Not one inch. I waited for three minutes and nothing. He was knocked out cold.
Furthermore, to my horror, Hannah was winding down, her movements getting slower, her eyes fluttering to a close. WTH?? This was way too unfair to go unnoticed.
So I poked the hubs. Hard. NOTHING. OK this is BS. Nobody sleeps THAT well. I pushed him awake.
Finally, he turned around, his eyes barely opened. "Mei Mei is right next to you," I informed formally. "Don't crush her." He nodded lazily and went back to hugging his pillow.
He's gonna crush her, I thought angrily to myself as I climbed back into my bed. I don't care I don't care I don't care close your eyes and SLEEP, I ordered my brain.
Ten minutes later, I got up and carried Hannah gently back to my bed. She rubbed her face against her blankie and settled back to sleep peacefully.
It was close to midnight now. The air purifier was still humming, accompanied by the soft snoring from the man whom I really do love despite his infuriating ability to fall asleep before I could even shut my eyes.
I checked on both children one more time, pulling Jayden's blanket over his exposed tummy and made sure Hannah had a pillow to rest her feet just the way she liked it.
And then I sleep.
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